Monday, September 17, 2012


I have been thinking a lot about obedience lately.  I am surrounded by many a good person, who wants good things and does good things.  Sometimes, I find it is secular people who most look out for their fellow man.  So I was contemplating the questions, "Why am I obedient to Christ's laws?  What makes my obedience different?"

I grew up in a church where much of my obedience stemmed from fear.  As I stated to a friend this weekend, it was fear of both my heavenly and earthly father.  I knew that both loved me and yet I did not want to disappoint so I obeyed.  I wanted people to see me as as righteous and good.  I wanted God to see me as righteous and good. So I stayed away from bad things and tried to do the good, in order to earn acceptance and to appear perfect.

As I matured in my faith I realized that with Jesus it is no longer about me.  It is not my sacrifices that make me right.  It is not my offerings of goodness and pseudorighteousness but His offering of true righteousness.  I no longer need to strive for perfection because I am already made perfect through Christ.  It is not my action's but Christ's that enable me to be accepted and that make me holy.  HE DID IT ALL!!

And yet I still follow the law and disciplines (albeit imperfectly).  I don't follow to make myself righteous.  I follow because I already am righteous.  I don't follow to earn God's favour; I follow to show that I favour God.  I follow, I am disciplined, I sacrifice to remind myself of all that Christ gave up for me, all that he sacrificed to make me holy.  I don't follow rules as an act of desperation but as an act of worship, an act of love for the one that loved me first.

This reminds me of Will and Kate - the duke and duchess of Cambridge.  Before they were married, kate was a commoner.  She had very few rules and protocols to follow.  No amount of curtsying or genuflecting would have made her part of the royal family.  Will fell in love with Kate and made her part of the royal family, gave her a new status of princess and duchess.  Now Kate has rules and protocols to follow to show that she is part of that family.  Even if she slips up and doesn't curtsy at the appropriate time, she is still family.

Likewise, I can do NOTHING to earn God's favour.  But He has decided to make me a part of His family, make me royalty because he loves me.  Now I follow rules and protocols to show myself and those around me that I belong to God.  And none of my slip ups will ever change that.

Sunday, September 09, 2012


A few weeks ago, I sat down and read all my previous blog entries.  I laughed a lot at some of the memories but for others I had tears in my eyes.  I marvelled at the way God used me.  I also was able to remember some of the missing pieces that I was not able to mention - the happenings at school that I could not reveal, the despair that I felt in my last year, my frustrations with the education that I was offering and that my students were receiving.  There was so much that had to go unmentioned, and as I read, it all came back to me.

I do keep in touch with some of my students and acquaintances in Trout.  I can thank Facebook for the medium that allows me to spy.  According to their status updates, things are happening in Trout.  Many of the students I taught are planning on going on to post secondary education opportunities.  One is planning on getting his Power engineering.  Other former students/ graduates are working.  

Also according to their status updates, God is moving in Trout.  It seems like a few have turned to Christ to gain meaning and hope for their lives.  I am filled with joy at this and pray that they will truly find freedom in Christ.

I did go to Trout in June for grad.  It was the last batch of students what I was heavily involved with.  When I left Trout, I felt that my fellow high school team and I had paved the road for three subsequent graduations - totalling 4 (or 5?) grads in a row.  The year after I left, some people did graduate but no one was willing to plan the ceremony and festivities.  The next year, they did have a celebration but it was on a Thursday, which meant that I could not go.  This year, they had a Saturday celebration, so I took the long, lonely road to Trout to celebrate with my last class and honour their achievements.  It was good to see people grown up, mature, happy, changed - and yet so much was still the same.

Trout has also amalgamated with his neighbour community to form a new First Nation.  It does seem like there is a lot of excitement (And growing pains) with this change.  I hope that it will provide new opportunities and hope for the people who live there.

So I feel like things are happening in my former place of residence and I hope that I provided a small spark that helped illuminate the flames of hope that are starting to flicker in the darkness.  I know that it will be a long journey to wholeness (do any of us ever reach that state here on earth?).  I know that  there is still a lot of pain, drunkenness, hurt, abuse, despair and on and on and on in that place.  And I know that there will be ups and downs, darkness and light, that people will fail and that the town will have difficult moments, years etc.  But it is good to see some hope and my prayer is that hope will foster hope and resilience - that after moments of failure, individuals and the community as a whole will have the strength and desire to pick up and start again.  My prayer is also that the community will find and lean on the True Source of Hope as they continue on their journey.

Reading my entries made me wonder again what God has for me here and what God has for me next.