It was a beautiful drive up to Trout - clear roads, little traffic (go figure), sunshine, pumping music. I got home and decided to continue the happy times as I unpacked my car. I got to song three on my CD when the phone rang. It was one of my fellow teachers welcoming me back. We chatted for a bit when she asked the question. "So have you heard the news yet? It seems like something bad always happens over the holidays. N's dad passed away. He committed suicide. The funeral is tomorrow."
My soul is heavy.
I have two of his daughters in my classes. One of the daughters has had a rough year. She used to be a model student - friendly, eager - but this year she has struggled because her family was struggling and her dad was drinking. Now the struggle for her has gotten tougher and I know that I can not take away any of her pain.
My soul weeps.
This father was a role model last year until alcohol caught up with him. He has a great family. He had a job. He was the "go to guy" in Trout. He was a preacher in the church and toured around other communities preaching and now he is gone. Not only gone - but he viewed life as so hopeless and empty that he saw no reason to continue it and decided to shoot himself and leave all of the pain behind to multiply in his family and community. This is an attack on the weak faith of the Christains here. This is an attack on any glimmer of hope that the youth in the community had. If he couldn't make it, how can they understand that they can make it?
God my soul utters groans that can not be uttered and pours out pain that goes so deep and questions why this had to happen in a community that already knows so much hurt and pain. Lord we need your comfort.
3 comments:
My heart and soul too cries out for the community and for you too.
It seems like too much, Jen. What can we do but mourn along side of this community?
Jen, my thoughts are with you. May you be the place where Jesus' hope and strength show for your community. Blessings to you friend.
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