This weekend I went to Peace River. One of the churches there is doing the Focus on the Family Truth Seminars. I needed groceries and decided to stay and go with one of my coworkers, who regularly attends that church. This week's topic: History. His Story. Not Jenstory.
It was rather humbling to remember that I am not in control. Somedays this is a relief. Other times it is a struggle. Right now, this week and month and school year, it is more on the relief side. There are things going on in my student's lives that I can not solve. I get the fall out of that in my classes but I don't have to solve it.
It was even more humbling to remember that it is not all about me. We are a part of a larger story. At our break out sessions though the conversation revolved around me, me, I, me. Every person who talked, talked about themselves and their story and strugles.
How do we make life not about us? How do we put ourselves in the frame of history and God's plan? How do we remember that we are not the center? How do we live it out? I look at history's figures and the pain and anguish they went through to bring glory to God. I get lonely and grumpy and think that I must be out of God's will.
Remembering that there is a metanarrative is rather hopeful. In the quest for life's meaning, there is a paradox. We can only find importance if our story loses importance and becomes wrapped up in God's plan. That is when our lives have meaning. Without that metanarrative, we are just clouds of breath and beautiful piles of dust. How depressing.
I understand it but how do I live it. I need some tips here.
P.S. Why oh why does this have to occur a 2.5 hour drive away? Once again it is all about me.
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